


Bros in Space

by Hinn_Raven



Series: Crossover Weekend [1]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crossover, Flashpoint Prevention, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Reboot Prevention, River and Jason Todd are bros in Space, lots of Flash character cameos, lots of mentions of Barry but he doesn't actually appear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-24
Updated: 2013-11-24
Packaged: 2018-01-02 11:54:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1056474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hinn_Raven/pseuds/Hinn_Raven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jason Todd has been recruited by a mysterious curly haired stranger called River Song to save the universe... they just need to make a few pit-stops along the way. </p><p>or </p><p>"Jason Todd stared at the woman holding him at gunpoint, and suddenly wished for pants."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bros in Space

Jason Todd stared at the woman holding him at gunpoint, and suddenly wished for pants.

He was in the small bedroom of his rundown apartment, and, since it was the summer, Jason was wearing only Wonder Woman boxers beneath the tattered sheet.

“Can I help you?” He asked, trying to be polite as one can be when awoken at three in the morning (after going to bed at one) without coffee.

“Jason Todd, right?” The woman asked. She was a very dangerous looking woman, with a ridiculously thick mane of blonde curls. She looked to be in her forties, but something told him that guess was a bit off. Her smile was deadly, and the way she held the strange, futuristic gun, told him that she was used to using it, and not just on a gun range.

“I think,” he said slowly, wondering if he could slip his hand under his pillow for his knife, “This is the part where I’m supposed to say something clichéd about you having me at an advantage on the names front.” His heart was racing slightly. Only members of the Bat Family knew his name. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. Others in the hero community knew, but only those that Bruce trusted (or, for a slightly larger list of people, Dick). It was kind of a shame within the super community; that one of them had gone bad, had broken like he had. That he’d Come Back Wrong. But he was pretty certain that this woman wasn’t a hero, not with hard eyes like those. But then, he could be wrong.

She flashed a smile at him that was part flirtatious, part deadly. He liked her. “I’m Doctor River Song,” she purred, her eyes looking at the pillow where his knife was hidden. “And I’m told you’re the person to talk to about dimension travel.”

He blinked, stupefied by her casual knowledge of his adventures during the Crisis. If his identity was a close, dark secret, his adventures with Donna and Kyle were even more so. This woman knew a lot of things, and it was unnerving. Jason wished for the security of his helmet, of the weight of his holsters, of the feel of his leather jacket. He felt exposed, pinned down under her gun and her gaze. He hated it, hated this woman with her ability to find him, despite the fact that no Bat had for six months, while he tried to heal his broken psyche and move on with his fucking life.

“I’d ask how you know that,” he said quietly, “But I’m doubting you’ll give me a straight answer, so I’ll move straight to the what you want to know, and how we can avoid this conversation ending with anyone getting hurt.”

“You know, I always thought that you were smarter than people made you out to be,” she smiled, lowering her gun slightly.

“What people?” He snorted, surprised that anybody had said something about him other than  _Bat shit crazy_ or  _dangerous fucker_.

“Oh, people,” she said vaguely. “Contacts, you know.” Her smile was sly.

Jason raised his eyebrows. “Alright then. Now, dimensional travel…?” He trailed off, letting her pick up.

“Not exactly travel. If, say,” her voice was hard now, her gun pointing directly at his forehead, “I said that if you don’t help me stop Barry Allen from travelling back through time, you will end up in an alternate universe where Talia al Ghul kills her son, Donna Troy, Cassandra Cain, Mia Dearden and Stephanie Brown don’t exist, and Alfred Pennyworth makes bad waffles.”

“Please tell me you’re kidding.”

“I broke into your apartment in the middle of the night to hold a former protégé of Batman at gunpoint. I think it’s fair to say I’m very serious.”

“Then I’d say let me grab my guns and a pair of pants, and let’s go off to save the day.”

“This might take a while. Might want to grab a shirt as well.”

“Noted.” Jason stood up, and River Song lowered her gun, her mouth twitching at the sight of his boxers. He strode across the room and threw open the door to his closet, revealing his collection of guns, knives, and Kevlar.

“Explosives are in the kitchen if you want any,” he told her, grabbing a pair of black jeans and stepping into them.

“Ooh, you sure know how to excite a girl,” she said, walking into the hallway, holstering her gun as she went. “What kind of explosives?”

“C4, grenades, a few rudimentary pipe bombs… I like a little variation.”

“Oh, we’re going to get along  _famously_ , Jason. My husband will be jealous.”

He snorted, tugging on a long-sleeved black shirt that he could wear under his Kevlar. “He coming along?”

“I expect he’ll show up,” she called from the kitchen. “Probably when we’re in grave danger.”

“Convenient,” Jason noted, strapping on his Kevlar and his gun holsters. “So, how’d you learn about this universal crisis?”

“I’m a time traveler,” she said, and wow, he could hear the grin in her voice.

“Oh fun. You know Booster?”

“Michael’s got  _nothing_ on me,” she said, emerging back into the room with a good deal of his explosives collection.

“If you say so,” Jason said, shrugging into his favorite leather jacket and tossing his helmet around, unsure if he really would need it, but not exactly willing to leave it behind. “Okay. Where we heading?”

She held out her wrist, where a thick leather band rested. She smirked. “You’ll see.”

“Well this won’t be fun,” he predicted, taking her proffered arm.

There was a blur of light, an awful spinning sensation, and a humongous headache that followed that statement.

A few weeks later, Jason Todd found himself aiming a rocket launcher the fucking weirdest alien he’d ever seen, while River and her husband argued and flirted about something.

He took aim and fired, grinning as the ridiculous pepper pot alien exploded in a very satisfactory manner.

“Ooh, nice shot,” the red head with a Scottish accent whose name started with an A, but beyond that he wasn’t sure. (Introductions had been a little rushed, mostly due to the presence of the alien life forms.)

“Thanks,” he said, squinting to see if any part of the alien had made it.

“What’s your name again?” The woman said.

“Jason. You?”

“Amy. That’s my husband Rory. River’s our daughter.” Jason turned towards her, tilting his head.

“Time travel shit?” He asked.

“Pretty much,” Rory said, looking exhausted.

“That sucks.” Jason poked the remains of the Dalek with his foot. “Are those two going to make up soon? River and I are kind of on a schedule to save the multi-verse from bad waffles.”

“Waffles?” Amy’s expression was hilarious.

“Bad waffles,” Jason confirmed. “It will be awful.”

“Do we want to know?” Rory asked warily.

“Probably not. It involves super-heroes, time travel, and a bunch of people who are too stubborn for their own good.”

“Super heroes?”

“The Flash, mainly. I hate speedsters.”

“Only because you never got one of your own,” River said, sauntering up to them, her tweed-wearing Doctor-husband-alien beaming like a kid who got to open up a Christmas present early.

Jason rolled his eyes. “If you say so.”

The Doctor beamed. “Great to meet you!” He seized Jason’s hand (the one not holding the rocket launcher, fortunately) and started pumping it up and down eagerly.

“Um… thanks?” Jason was bewildered. He wondered if this guy actually knew who he was. Y’know, the Red Hood. Scourge of the underworld, renegade Bat-Child, former Crime Lord…

“River, as much fun as blowing up Daleks is, can we get around to saving the universe already?” Jason said, hoping that this would distract the Doctor from shaking his hand.

“Not yet,” River smirked.

“I hate you.”

She blew him a kiss. “Boy Wonder.”

Amy and Rory turned to him, eyes wide. “You were  _Robin_?”

“Was. Past tense. Then I kinda died.”

“And  _then_ ,” The Doctor seemed to vibrate with excitement. “Superboy-Prime punched the wall of reality, bringing him back to life!”

“I woke up in my—wait  _what_?”

“That’s our cue!” River sang, grabbing Jason’s arm. “Now, let’s go deal with speedsters in the only way a couple of dangerous gun-wielders can.”

“By shooting them in the legs so they can’t run? Or do we have to bribe with food?”

“We shoot them politely, then food. As an apology.”

“Why are you shooting the Flash? Should you be shooting the Flash? Also I thought I read somewhere that Batman hated guns,” Amy said, squinting at them.

“I’m not Batman,” Jason grumbled, letting River tug him away.

“Can’t we give you a lift?” The Doctor called, bouncing in place with a grin on his face.

“Sorry sweetie!” River called. “You know you’re not allowed in Central City!”

“Why isn’t he allowed in Central?” Jason asked in a low voice.

“He ‘accidently’ started improving the Rogue’s technology for them,” River said fondly. “Poor Wally wasn’t very happy.”

“Okay, so why is Barry back again? I’m a little confused.”

“A Crisis of course,” River said. “Isn’t that always the answer?”

“I guess,” Jason winced as River started up her stupid vortex manipulator. “You ever going to tell me why we needed to take all of these detours?”

River looked at him, eyes serious. “You don’t want to know,” she said quietly. There was something in the set of her mouth and the look in her eyes that told Jason that he probably didn’t want to know.

Because he’s Jason Todd, he filed it away so he could ask her about it later, after they saved a bunch of really kickass ladies being wiped out of existence. He hadn’t actually met Stephanie Brown or Cassandra Cain, but he knew  _of_ them. And Mia did not deserve to be wiped out of existence. Maybe she’d chosen to throw her lot in with an asshole who was willing to throw his son out for drug abuse, but hey, she was pretty awesome.

It kind of offended Jason on many levels just how long the list of awesome super-heroines that vanished because of Barry Allen’s fucking with the time stream was. Jason was pretty sure he’d only feel a little guilty about shooting the guy. If he actually got to shoot him. He suspected River might actually try diplomacy first.

Jason had actually never been to Central City. Bruce didn’t like taking him places when he was a Robin, so he had mainly spent his non-Gotham-pre-death days in Bludhaven or Metropolis. Even his brief stint with the Titans hadn’t brought him here. It seemed pretty nice. It had a smaller-town feel than Metropolis and Gotham. Happier than Star City though.

Jason and River went to the Flash Museum as their first stop. There was a cheerful twelve year old girl behind the counter, whose name tag proclaimed her name to be Dani, and voice proclaimed her to be the Flash’s biggest fan. (“Which Flash?” “ _All of them._ ”) They did not find Barry Allen there, but they did get to meet Irey and Jai Park-West, who were trailing their mother Linda, chattering eagerly. Jason smiled as he talked to Linda, being very grateful that he was not incredibly recognizable.

River steered them out of the museum, talking cheerfully about the idea of getting some food. Jason was suspicious, but didn’t say anything.

They walked along the streets of Central, side by side. Jason scanned the scenery, kind of interested by the different architecture and more interested by the wonderful smells coming off vendor carts.

Suddenly, Jason nearly doubled over. Walking down the street, alongside an annoyingly familiar redhead who was besties with a certain acrobatically inclined brother of his, was  _Donna Troy_. (Crap, Jason could hear the italics in his head, he was in so much trouble.) Her hair was falling out of her loose pony tail, her mouth twisted upwards in a brilliant laugh. Her eyes twinkled, and her face glowed with happiness. She wore dark blue jeans that hugged her hips and thighs, a loose red silk blouse that draped over her torso elegantly, a stark contrast to her usual skin tight leotard, and high heeled leather boots. She was calm and happy, her posture relaxed and at peace. Jason had forgotten what she looked like when she was relaxed and happy. She was beautiful. Not that she wasn’t when she was knee-deep in unconscious bad guys and absolutely furious, but…

She was beautiful and fantastic and happy and Jason did  _not_  want her to see him. He tried to hind behind River, but the archaeologist, although tall, was not large enough to conceal his muscled frame. River laughed at his efforts, elbowing him in the side as she followed his gaze towards Wally and Donna.

As if Jason needed further proof in his life that the universe actually hated him, River’s laughter drew Donna’s attention to him.

Crap.

“Jason!”

Donna’s face lit up in a way that… well, no one else’s had ever really. She looked delighted to see him again. Which… was unusual. She threw her arms around him, lifting him to the ground, despite the fact that he had a good two inches on her, even with her three-inch heels. Well. Amazon. He couldn’t really be surprised.

“Hi Donna,” he grumbled, hoping he wasn’t blushing. (He totally was.)

“I haven’t seen you in ages!” She enthused, smiling at him. Her smile faded slightly. “Actually… no one has. Where have you been?”

He tried not to think about how that statement implied that she might have been asking people about him, and shrugged, going for nonchalant, but probably falling somewhere between “anxious” and “oh-god-oh-god-oh-god”. “Time travelling mainly.”

Donna’s cobalt eyes widened, her smile reemerging, with a slight tilt of an eyebrow to indicate her curiosity. “With… your friend?” Her voice was a little unsure, but it steadied out as she took a sidelong glance at River. Wonderful, fantastic, obviously too old for him River.

“Friend! Yep. Friend. Um… Donna, meet Professor River Song,” Jason said, hoping he did not sound as ridiculously tongue-tied as he felt. He probably did, but Jason liked to pretend he could be suave and not generally an idiot around a gorgeous Amazonian superheroine who was about the first person in ages to treat him decently when he was in a state to appreciate it.

“A pleasure,” River said, smiling. “Hello Wally,” she said grandly to the speedster, who was looking between Jason and River so fast that his eyes were a blur due to superspeed.

“Doctor Song,” Wally said, nodding politely, although he looked a touch panicked. “Um…”

“The Doctor didn’t come along,” she reassured him, smiling sweetly.

Wally’s shoulders slumped with relief. Jason was kind of curious about what that story was about, but he decided against asking. For now.

“Why are you in town?” Donna asked, looking him over, as if checking for injuries. (Or examining just how well the red turtleneck he was wearing clung to his torso, but Jason didn’t really notice things like that.)

“Saving the world from collapsing into another alternate universe in which a bunch of people become assholes,” Jason said. He felt it was sufficient.

“Need help?” Donna and Wally chorused. It must be a Teen Titan thing.

“Nah, we just need to stop Barry from making bad life choices,” Jason said, sharing a glance with River.

“Barry?” Wally repeated. “Crap. What’s he going to do?”

“He’s not allowed to time travel for a little while, that’s all,” River said with a scary smile.

Donna looked a little worried.

“You both be careful now,” River continued cheerfully, taking Jason by the arm and beginning to steer him away. “Try not to stop existing.”

“Why would we—” Wally started to ask, but was cut off by Donna.

“See you later?” She asked Jason.

Jason was ninety-nine-point-nine-nine percent sure she didn’t mean it like he hoped she did, but he nodded anyways, before River grabbed him by the scuff of his leather jacket and hauled him away.

“Are we going to shoot him?” He asked, mildly worried.

“Probably not,” River said. “Only if he doesn’t listen.”

“By the way, why does saving his mother make everything go all shit-tastic?”

“Spoilers.”

“I really hate that word.”

“Don’t ask me if your coffee date works out then.”

“What coffee—oh.  _Oh_.”  _OH_ , Jason added mentally, for good measure. Repeating things with more emphasis might not change their meaning, but it helped the message sink in.

“So you going to tell me why you needed me yet?” Jason said, following River as they stopped outside the Central City Police Department Building.

River looked at him thoughtfully. He could see her balancing it mentally. It was a familiar look to Jason. It was the expression of someone trying to decide whether or not the information that was about to be shared would anger, annoy, unhinge, or generally aggravate him. Jason swallowed, wondering what secret she had been keeping from him that made her hesitate like that.

“I grabbed you a bit early,” she said quietly. “You were… what, only home for six months?”

“Just about,” Jason said, sticking his hands into his jean pockets, hoping for a façade of nonchalance. His heart was speeding up, the blood pounding in his ears. Every nerve in his body was tingling, anticipating what she was about to tell him.

“In another three months from when I took you,” River said quietly, eyes far away, as if she was seeing something that wasn’t there, “There was another Crisis.”

Jason flinched, wondering what god or gods hated everything in the universe so much that they kept feeling the need to mix things up every other year. “What happened to me?”

“Not to you.” River paused. “Bruce Wayne, the Batman, was announced to be killed by Darkseid.”

The air left Jason’s lungs, suddenly, as if he were tossed into a vacuum. His world twisted sideways, and he lost all sense of direction, as he tried to understand, really and truly, that Bruce was  _dead_.

Jason had hated Bruce, Jason had loathed Bruce, Jason had loved Bruce and yet been so angry that he was willing to burn everything that the man had cared for in order to make him understand just how much Jason had lost when Bruce had replaced him, Jason had screamed himself raw at the man, had his throat torn open by him to save the very monster that killed him, but never in a hundred thousand years had Jason ever imagined living in a world where Bruce was  _dead_. Maybe, intellectually, he had known the risks, known how dangerous the cowl was, but never had he ever accepted the possibility emotionally. Never.

He grabbed onto the nearest thing to keep himself aloft, which happened to be the wall. He closed his eyes, willing himself not to cry. Bruce was dead.

River was still, impossibly, unthinkably, talking. “Dick Grayson took up the Cowl. But you didn’t take it well.”

How could he? Jason thought numbly. How  _could_  he when Dick had taken up the Cowl just like that? Trying to fit himself into Bruce’s shoes, into the role, _replacing him_?

“By the time Bruce Wayne was discovered to be alive,” Jason’s head snapped up, feeling utterly lost. His cheeks were wet, and his hands were trembling.

“What?” Jason interrupted, his voice cracking.

She smiled. “I said  _announced_  Jason,” she said, finally looking at him. Her eyes were the kindest he had ever seen them. “He wasn’t really dead. Everyone just thought he was.”

Jason tried his best to laugh it off. “Sounds like him.” He paused, then added meaningfully, “Bastard.”

“I removed you from the time stream,” she said, shrugging. “Hopefully, you won’t go and start being a mass murder who gets children involved in crime now.”

“ _Children?_ ”

“We’ll ignore that now. Now get moving,” River said briskly, “We’ve got a time stream to salvage.”


End file.
